I love homeschooling. I get to lecture all day. But God has been telling me it’s time to stop lecturing.
This week the boy did not receive a “tip” on his tae kwon do belt. A “tip” signifies he has completed the learning and can move on. After four tips he is invited to test for the next level belt.
My son walked into practice certain he was getting his next tip. He had not practiced all week, but he felt he deserved it.
He didn’t get it.
They told him to practice over the weekend. His head hung so far forward I thought it would roll right off his shoulders.
He shot me a dirty look on the way to the car.
He sighed heavy in the backseat.
So, I started my lecture.
Did you practice this week? I didn’t see you practice? Do you think you can just walk in and get something because you showed up? Do you think Michael Phelps just jumps into the water and wins gold? No. He practices every single day. Did you practice every single day? I don’t care if you’re a black belt but you can’t expect to show up on the day of practice and expect to be perfect without practicing all week.
And on for a good few minutes more.
I stopped at the store, locked him fuming inside, and ran in to pick up a pizza.
Heading back to the car revelation poured down over me.
Stop Lecturing.
I put the pie in the trunk and opened his door. I leaned far into the car and grabbed him.
I stood there hugging him and his whole tense body immediately relaxed into his mamma’s embrace.
I didn’t let go quickly.
Thank you he whispered into my hair.
Stop Lecturing
Mom, love them.
Right where they are in their mess and mistakes. Love them when it makes all the sense in the world to you and absolutely none to them.
Love them when you know you’re so right and everything in you wants to lecture. Love them when you can’t wait to make your point. (ahem) Love them when you think they have some kind of lesson to learn.
Because the lesson is grace.
God gave us His Son without lecture.
God forgives us without lecture.
God hears our prayers without lecture.
God loves us without lecture.
Why do I have such a hard time offering the same to my children?
We have so much in common friend. Thanks so much for writing your heart. Mine needed to hear it
Brooke, you bless me with your honesty. thank you
I can totally relate! I struggle with this DAILY! For me, I feel that everything my kids do is a reflection of me. If they fail, I think I fail. If they do something less than perfect, I think people think that I am a less than perfect parent. Unfortunately for my kiddos I am not perfect, however thanks for the reminder to stop lecturing and start embracing! I have actual tears in my eyes.
Summer, are we the same person?
I feel EXACTLY the same way, all the way down to the tears.
I needed this so much today. I need to re-read it every day. Our Lord shows us such grace…why do I have such a hard time remembering to show it to my children? You are so right: it is His kindness and love that leads us to repentance — not His lecturing!
what a great word. As a momma to 10 and having home schooled for the last 21 years I can relate all too well!!! As home school mommas we think everything good and bad is hinged on what we have done or not done taught or not taught, but sometimes the best lessons are learned and taught when we are quiet…ahhh now to remember that and apply it tomorrow
Glad I found your site!!