fighting the monster of discouragement

I am sharing something close to my heart ~ fighting the monster of discouragement

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.  Joshua 1:9

I have been struggling with discouragement lately.  Am I allowed to say that out loud as a Christian homeschool stay-at-home mom?  I’m supposed to be happy and counting my thanks, pinning yummy recipes, and cross stitching for the homeless.

Yet I’m fighting the monster of discouragement.

One evening the high school ministry decided to go see The Avengers – I couldn’t buy the Fandango ticket on my (old) cell phone.  I drove up 30 minutes early that random Sunday night to find out the movie was sold out.  (I bought a smartphone the next day).

Hubs joined me to serve and we couldn’t find anyone to watch our kids to join them bowling.

Speaking of kids … my best online friends were in town from NC & SD — I get to see them once a year.  This year Hubs was out of town. I asked a neighbor which ended up turning into a night not spent with my friends.

Harvest high schoolers are up at their annual camp this week.  Hearts turning to Jesus – relationships being formed.  Good things happening.  (please pray for your church high school group).  With the travel schedule and no one to help watch my boys … I’m reading about it on their facebook page … at home.

feeling outside looking in

I can’t even pretend to image how Moses felt looking into the Promise Land knowing the work he put forth getting to it, yet  not going to enjoy it himself.

We must be careful of our favorite blogs only sharing the happy lollipop Jesus.  But the truth of the matter – sometimes God says “no” and it’s hard to swallow.

Sometimes the contract on the house is terminated.  Sometimes a move is mandatory.  Sometimes a pregnancy ends.  Sometimes the hope of more children is gone. Sometimes friends are not real friends at all.  Sometimes best efforts are not rewarded on the scale.  

But I believe God is always good!

And He went a little beyond them, and fell to the ground and began to pray that if it were possible, the hour might pass Him by. And He was saying, ”Abba! Father! All things are possible for You; remove this cup from Me; yet not what I will, but what You will.” Mark 14:35-36 

 ”remove this cup from Me” God’s Sons asks.  God did not.  God had a plan.

As much as I want to point fingers “no – you can’t always get what you want”, I forget the importance on focusing on the: “but what You will”.

My heart has not been most concerned with God’s Will … just my own fun.  My own freedom.  My own entertainment.  My own comfort.  It’s no surprise to find me greatly discouraged and struggling.  There is no room for God’s plan when me, my, and I get in His Way !

To fight the burden of discouragement is to find the joy of humility in wanting what God wants regardless of my desire.  

I love The Message …
And don’t for a minute let this Book of The Revelation be out of mind. Ponder and meditate on it day and night, making sure you practice everything written in it. Then you’ll get where you’re going; then you’ll succeed. Haven’t I commanded you? Strength! Courage! Don’t be timid; don’t get discouraged. God, your God, is with you every step you take.   Joshua 1:9

Maybe you join me and need a little reminder … but what You will !!

* emphasis mine